giovedì 12 marzo 2009

Ho fotografato una banana triste

Ieri mattina attendevo il mio tempo in facoltà, e nell'attesa mi leggevo il benedetto City, che è la mia botola su questo pazzo mondo. La carta stampata mi rivela che il lavoro più redditizio è quello del maggiordomo, e che la crisi è un Pesce d'Aprile andato per le lunghe. Ma anche che Penelope Cruz si sente una buona mamma pur non essendolo, e che ha dare davvero svolta alla vita delle donne sono stati i pannolini usa e getta, e l'interruttore con la rotellina, che nasconde polvere e cellulite a seconda della diffusione. Il mio mondo ha avuto senso alla pagina dell'oroscopo, dove vengo a conoscenza di verità universali : Il benessere dello Scorpione dipenderà da una porzione di cavolo; Gli Acquario avranno adeguate risorse di fiato, i Capricorno avranno un amore da parcheggiare e mani e piedi freddi.
Sabato la mia luna doveva essere negativa, o magari aveva fatto indigestione. Ore 09. 04, ero nel mio letto, in uno stato di morte apparente ma convinta, e un urlo si impone ai miei timpani, e io grufolo indispettita. Dopo un iniziale "Du Palle!" d'incoraggiamento, mi alzo, e scorgo la Donna Anna (In ea semper misericordia fuit) che parla al soffitto, gesticolando impaziente nella sua camicia da notte rosa. Alla mia invocazione, si alza dal letto con uno scatto che ricorda esplicitamente Nosferatu, e prende a correre euforica per casa, occhio spalancato e fiato corto.
L'inseguimento della sua persona è lungo ed arduo. Giunge l'amica di mamma, che risolve con un pacifico "Facciamo la spesa", che si è rivelata un'impresa estenuante... Al limite della sopportazione, ci rechiamo in farmacia, dove si accorgono subito che c'è qualcosa che non va. Metto le mani avanti, e faccio capire che non le ho dato droghe per sfruttarne la persona, e veniamo a sapere, nel passaggio dalla sovraeccitazione all'abbattimento, che scocciandosi evidentemente di compiere lo stesso gesto due volte, la Donna Anna (In ea semper misericordia fuit) ha preso nello stesso momento un'antistaminico e un'antidolorifico, e quest'ultimo a base di oppiacei. Quale ovvietà.
La Farmacista è un Genio, consiglia l'uso separato delle pillole, dato che il fisico di Donna Anna (In ea semper misericordia fuit) evidentemente ne risente. Al mio commento che ne risentivo anche io, lei mi liquida con un "Ma che disgraziata!" e se non fosse in una botta di euforia Donna Anna (In ea semper misericordia fuit) aveva deciso di uscire, sarei ancora sul bancone aggrappata saldamente alle orecchie della farmacista per strapparle lo scalpo a morsi.
Assicuratomi che Donna Anna (In ea semper misericordia fuit) fosse uscita dal tunnel degli oppiacei, lunedì mi sono recata, su invito esplicito, presso il Sacro Suolo Accademico dell'Arte propriamente detta, dove un mio vicino parente (conosciuto dai più come "Dio dei pervertiti") si dedica a piacevoli attività, non tutte collegate al suo soprannome, credo.
In compagnia di altri simpatici (non che mio cugino lo sia) frequentatori del Sacro Suolo Accademico dell'Arte propriamente detta, ho interagito con una copia del David di Michelangelo, battezzato da me medesima Mister D., e con Bob, che leggenda vuole tramutato in pietra mentre aspettava il turno in bagno. Ho pranzato nella poco accogliente, ma modica Tana dell'Arte, e tanto pè cambià, viaggiato di fumetteria in fumetteria con gente competente (Martina I love you)
Ma ora. So che avete letto tutto 'sto popò di roba per un unico motivo assoluto, che altro non è che il tiolo del post. Pensate sempre male, questa è la verità. Ma gli ortaggi e la frutta hanno una dignità, e io me ne farò portavoce: basta discriminare Pere, Finocchi e Banane e le povere Arance che ormai hanno il complesso della cellulite. Perchè anche loro valgono.
La Banana Triste ora non lo è più. Ma solo per merito delle fauci di mio fratello, non certo per merito vostro, fottuti insensibili!!

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ahahaahhahahah come è triste questa banana....alessandro alessandro...l'uomo cherendeva tristi le banane...ihihihih

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